Category Archives: Personal

I never lose, EITHER I WIN or I learn


My experiences in my advocacy seem like a roller coaster ride.

I have met a lot of unscrupulous atheists in my first advocacy.  All they want from me was money. They do not even know how to apologize for publicly shaming me, or secretly bad mouthing me. I am now convinced that some atheists are pathological liars and sociopaths. What I cannot understand is that, they are mostly LGBTs. I cannot fathom the significance of sexuality having to do with their evil deeds. But, I know that some of them are really bad people using their talents in nefarious ways.

My loss in the recent experience was never money. It was the betrayal that pained me. It was the expectation of  someone supporting someone to make him be successful in life and “integrity” that he has destroyed for himself. I am sad for him.

However, life has to continue.

I only lost money, they  lost their integrity. At  least  3 of them.

I never lose, either I win  or I learn. I am HAPI.


I am vindicated

The time has come when I need to slow down, gotta hang that coat and hat for sure,  but not really.

Still a webmaster, I learned it the hard way. To guard the most important work that we do.

While some societies are dying due to lack of leadership and funding, HAPI is expanding like wildfire in the Philippines.

Sure, we weed out the parasites who only come for money. Stop them on their tracks before it blows over.

A few will be terminated, thanks to the new trusted core. Most will stay because they have integrity.

Alas, for now, only one person was worse of the worst.

Be careful out there, he is still on the loose.


I am a committed philanthropist to HAPI.


Since November 2010, I have been promoting critical thinking on social media. Unfortunately, found some people who are just good at lying and spreading rumors about me, even attacking my family.

I continued, anyway. I spent my own personal funds on these advocacies just to make them work. They were grassroots movement and very unique, so much so that, they were very  difficult to get off the ground.

I am quite fortunate to have a great job in the USA with great remuneration, thereby, helping me achieve my goals even without help from donors.

Kindness begets kindness, donors who saw what  I started began to trickle, but not much to sustain my cause. I remain the biggest donor of the societies I  founded even until now.

I am a committed philanthropist to HAPI.

The people who have ripped me off since I started my advocacy – A public warning

I admit, a lot of people are embarrassed to accept  that they have been taken, and ripped off and scammed by the very people they trust.

I started my advocacy in 2011, I have encountered a lot of low life and scumbags. I should have listened to my gut feelings.

At any rate, atheist or not, they are all the same, some are good and some are bad.

I will post those who have ripped me off so that you will not fall victim to these bastards and stay away from them like a plague when you encounter them:

Levi Chui Monton – my first scholar, ripped me off and stole money from the PATAS paypal and more

Dexter Tiu – ripped me off for the PATAS website

Nicole Erika  Juanillo – borrowed money but did not pay the whole amount.

Jay R Patio – borrowed money but did not pay the whole amount

ALvin Cloyd Dakis– borrowed money but did not pay the whole amount. still owes me 35k pesos.  blocked me after trying to collect.

Aljohn de Leon  aka AJ DL – did not return the fare for  plane ticket to SG and registration fees, despite getting a lot of financial assistance from me. He also destroyed the website and removed all articles, pictures and video, upon knowing that I stopped my financial help. He also tried to hack  the HAPI paypal.

Oh well, charge it to experience…these scumbags will never become comfortable in their lives. They have lost their credibility and integrity.

I am waiting to see you face to face, so I can tell you how stupid you are !

Oh well, I must be gullible. At least I tried to help people, even if they have scammed me.

Money is just a tool to help people. I am glad, I have it.

Lesson learned: Do not trust those people above in my list.

I will be touring around the world,  just the same. But, my kindness stops here.


The Evil boy – A Public Warning

This evil boy I supposedly saved from his parents who tortured him and punished him for being LGBT  at 16- gay or trans, I am not sure what he was, but, I treated him like my son, like a human being.

I sent him my own personal  funds for his board and lodging, tuition fees, internship, transportation, stuff for photojournalism and more –  in exchange for his help in the HAPI website. But, he failed to do his work. He needed to be reprimanded to make articles for the website. He was caught lying too many times and manipulating me too many times. I gave him another chance, but he became worse. He  did not even return the HAPI funds for his fare to SG and his registration fees for the IHEYO convention.  I do not condone theft in my society, no matter who you are. We have terminated the thieves and corrupt people in HAPI, Aljohn was just one of them.

He abused  and took advantage of me. When I stopped his financial support, last Oct 2015, he was already 18 going on 19,   he destroyed our HAPI  website and removed all  articles, pictures and video:  these deeds made him a criminal in our eyes. He even tried to get into the HAPI paypal account. Such a low-life bastard without integrity. A greedy person to the core. He even asked for money from HAPI members and OFW. It was good that I have warned all of them about this evil boy.

I cannot fathom why these people are like that. They will never be successful in their lives. My “legacy and kindness” will hound them to death.

He was the last  straw that broke the camel’s back. I almost gave up on humanity.

I will only concentrate in HAPI, no more individual scholars. Most of them are alike : NO INTEGRITY !!

Be careful of  this evil boy. His name is Aljohn de Leon.  He will send you PM’s of him being tortured and sent away by his parents. His way of taking you in, like what happened to me.

His last attempt to manipulate me:

// I am thankful forever I will forever be indebted. I will not turn my back on you and will still defend you whenever people try to demonize you. But it’s over and you asked that I move on. It’s enough to defend myself. You’re not going to change your mind but I will still excel at school as my promise to you. Thanks for everything and sorry for my earlier messages. I misspoke & I was emotional. Please remember that I will never forget you though. Goodbye ms M. It’s enough for both of us. Love u//


PS: witnesses are available and Xoom account receipts available to back up this article.



Nursing: Not a bed of Roses (Why I call myself Narsdoktor) – A repost

I always imagine myself to be successful. I always think positive about myself..

I came to the US of A in 1990. My reasons are just like any RN: because of poverty and the need to go abroad to uplift my condition in the Philippines. Although, I went to KSA prior to my arrival in NYC, it did not really do a lot of improvement in my life at that time.

As soon as I got to New York City, I was in motion. I studied every night so I could pass the NCLEX just once. I did not have time and money to enroll myself in some review classes. All I did was study Appleton every night. I worked extra so I could send more to my family in Cebu. I would work double shift 3x a week.
Needless, to say, it was not a bed of roses. I was always haunted by memories of being away from my family. Loneliness would creep in from time to time.

I passed the NCLEX right away and was promoted the next day to a supervisory level.
I thought, it would be better, but worse. As a manager you are on call 24 hours a day. Some vacations were curtailed because of the Dept of Health survey (state). In short, you are management personnel, they can twist you like a pretzel.
I became a rebel, answering back to my superiors because, I always want to do what is right for my patients, for my staff, for everybody. I am not the regular “subservient Filipino nurse” in town. I was a different Filipino RN.

I was forced to resign, but landed a very challenging job the next day. I became an emergency RN, not by choice but by unforeseen circumstances. It was actually a blessing in disguise. I was too good at it, I got my Certification (CEN) just after one year of ER exposure. It sparked a little encouragement in me, so, I went back to school for my Masters degree in Nursing. I enrolled in a City University of NY (CUNY-Lehman College). In order to pay the tuition fees, I needed to get another job, on top of my obligations like sending money home to the Philippines, my board and lodging and the like. In short, I had three jobs while I was taking up my graduate school. I could not believe until now that I did it!

I studied part time and worked full time and I finished it.
I guess, my determination made me do it.
I also got married while I was in school. My husband was very supportive of what I do even until now.

I did not stop at my graduate school, I was too ambitious, nobody can stop me. I went to get a Post-Master’s Certificate in Adult Nurse Practitioner. My father in law volunteered to pay for it because the tuition fee was quite expensive. I need to maintain a 4.0 (equivalent to flat one in the Phil), I needed to impress him.
For two years, I did not see my husband because of my studies. When I went home, he was already asleep, when he leaves for work, I was still sleeping. We were in that kind of arrangement for 2 years until I finished school and landed my dream job.

I became an adult nurse practitioner of a care management company with flexible hours, benefits galore and huge salary. I have been doing this for 10 years and counting. This is the kind of job everybody is fighting for. I am my own boss.

It is like my retirement job really. Where in the world can you find a job like this?
I call myself narsdoktor. I am a primary care provider with prescriptive privileges, pretty much like an MD. Our salaries and responsibilities are almost the same.
I could say, I am reaping the fruits of my labor, after experiencing different jobs as an RN. I will never go back to work as an RN. I am pretty happy as a narsdoktor.

The Last Laugh

Whatever you do,

Successful or not,  still reflects what I did before

My legacy will continue and you just continued it.

You are a charlatan, doing  advocacy  to spite me?

Pretending will end when you get tired of your pretenses.

Whatever it is , I am still vindicated.

You cannot escape from my shadow.

Too much obsession of what I do.

Can’t work without copying me?

I have the LAST LAUGH, hear me roar.

You are a charlatan and insecure, for sure.

and please, I do not hate an imitator, who is my secret adoring fan.

this is your plan? Continue my legacy, but you are a fool just the same.

Calling me names before? now you know, you are wrong and mistaken.

When do you send me a public apology? because private apologies are

No longer effective.

Snakes and termites use my name  to advance their game.

I have the LAST LAUGH, just the same.

Do not do this advocacy to impress me.

Why I left PATAS: The TRUTH

Snakes and Termites : The truth why I left PATAS

Two years ago in November  2013, right after my vacation in Barbados, I came back to NYC with a very heavy heart. I had a premonition that something was  happening with my first baby, PATAS,  the  first organized SEC registered  nonreligious society I founded  to hopefully,  make a better Philippines via critical thinking, reason, atheism and logic.

The snakes have gotten out of their cages and treated me like a rat. What is going on? They thought, I was siding with Cebu? The divisive attitude of PATAS-Manila made all PATAS-Cebu leave without ado, some of them blaming me for siding with Manila. OOps..where did I go wrong?  They thought they can lead better than I do?  I was not siding with anyone, I was neutral all along. Both chapters had power struggles,  some were greedy to the core, some were thieves and arrogant bastards and really low life. A lot of them still owe me money  up to this day and some are in hiding hoping I will not find them. All of those whom I have helped and given computers were all “bad people”. I should have known that some pinoys suffer from self-entitlement and have chip on their shoulders.

Honestly, I was already on the verge of my retirement from PATAS,  thus, I was serendipitously  training the CEO and President about effective leadership. To my dismay, both have stabbed me in my heart, the rest stabbed me in my back. They were very insecure about  their leadership, they could not even agree with each other. One left after a few months. Oh well, they have just removed the glue that made them stick together.

I caught them in a secret chat with their dearest  friends making me look like I was hiding the donations for Cebu. Truth be told, they knew that the donations went straight to Cebu bank. We had a proof of that also. The funds were with LA.  How come they did not go to Cebu to find out what really was happening? How come Cebu members were not receptive to them ? They were supposed to be on the same team? What went wrong? It is easier to blame the founder, you know, she is just in the USA sitting on her butt. The blaming attitude of most Pinoys came out. The greedy and arrogant behavior of some pinoys came out! How I wish, one of them flew to Cebu to check them out.

The new Board of Directors were behaving like snakes and  termites. One of them, RP,  offered to make me the Chairman Emeritus, since they know very well that  I built PATAS with my own funds, sweat and blood with a little help from donors and volunteers in Luneta. the Nerve!! How dare them!!! I declined the offer three times. This very same person has been badmouthing me ever since I declined his offer. I even caught him red handed. They forgot, I have some loyal people who report to me anything negative said about me. Oh the nerve!! did you forget : there would have been no PATAS without my money and effective leadership? His secret apologies were not enough frankly, he needs to apologize publicly for humiliating me publicly. where is he now? He is still trying to do some “termite and snake techniques” again.

There was one BOD  – (RT) who hates me for no reason at all. He forgot that I gave him 1000 pesos as fare from Baguio to Manila. This person is only fierce online, but he really behaves and looks like a lamb in person. He is so desperate for my attention, he stalks me around, and knows everything about me, but TROLLS everyone. I do not like to think that he hates my guts. He stopped bashing me when his good friends became my staff in HAPI. Have you realized your mistakes now? I need a public apology.

One of their BOD officers,  hacked into my FB account and publicized some of my chats with my scholar. I know who this one is. He even posted them on FB, on his dummy account. Does he really have to know what I am thinking about? How insecure is he ? Miss my money and my attention. His  kids will never get any from me. Tough luck.

Apparently their behavior and backstabbing attitudes ricocheted,  they obviously were not getting along very well. PATAS shrunk like a prune : Most of their chapters were gone, they cannot even revive Cebu and eventually the “Three Stooges” left PATAS all at the same time  and made their own specialty group promoting their own self interests.

I thought, they can be revived by the Patascon? I was really hoping too, it is still my baby, you know.

The insecurity came out again, they made their  visitors uncomfortable by their comments about the HAPI pin worn by the topnotch HAPI officials . Oh well, some people do not learn their lesson.

I could just have made my own personal foundation for philanthropy and charity. The heartaches and sadness these people have given me were too much. I almost had a heart attack.  I have already lost a lot of money because of my advocacy.  I do not really need donations. But, it is nice to get some from people who support my advocacy, and  it is better because there is strength in numbers and diversity.  I must admit,  I will not do this again. Herding cats is a daunting task. I could have retired earlier had I saved all my losses from my advocacy and what I have lost from supporting  my scholar.  I could have taken that tour around the world  x 2 earlier!!

Water seeks its own level. I am HAPI now. My journey has ended.